The Devil and His

Here from the king’s mountain view
Here from a wild dream come true
Feast like a sultan I do
On treasures and flesh, never few.
But I, I would wish it all away.
If I thought I’d lose you just one day.

The devil and his had me down,
In love with the dark side I’d found.
Dabble in all the way down
Up to my neck soon to drown.

The world is a playground of pleasures for us humans to enjoy, and we are born, raised, and taught just how to reap the rewards of it all through music, television, sex, drugs and booze. Music gives it to us in our ears and injects our brains with powerful sedatives to shut down the stress anxiety and worry of the day and bring us to another place where we can be free from the insanity. But what happens when the music we are listening to and letting into our worlds is negative? The results are not good. In fact the results are being played out as this little blog post is being written. All across the world people are listening to music and being influenced by it to act a certain way. Death metal encourages anger and violent behavior, gangster rap encourages drug dealing, ignorance, and an attitude of who cares f*** the world. Country music encourages feeling good in a fantasy land of pick up trucks and farms and drunken parties. Emo music encourages depression, isolation, and feeling like no one understands you. Indie rock encourages anti-conformity and a whatever attitude toward everything. Classical music encourages…high class and a snobbish sense of self.

What does your music say about you?

Television is the worst. I am a hypocrite because I watch it too, but I do not like it. When I turn it on I am seeking an escape from boredom and a release from whatever the day brought me. I know that the next hour will be spent sitting on my ass and staring at a screen. I realize I will be hypnotized by the use of binaural beats emitted from the TV that I won’t even consciously hear but will make me passive, lethargic, and not care what is going on in the world outside the room. Add the mind-numbing trash that exists on cable television and what you have is a recipe for collective dysfunction on the level of communication and caring about what happens around you. “Just victims of the in-house drive-by, they say jump you say how high? Play it again and again and again, until your mind is locked in, your brain dead, you got a f***** bullet in your head”.

What is your favorite fetish? Don’t pretend you don’t have one or don’t know what a fetish is. According to Urbandictionary.com a fetish is:

1.An object thought to have magical, especially magically sexual, powers.
2. A sexual fixation or obsession with a usually non-sexual object. EX. socks, horses, monkeys, pain, bondage.

“Holy shit those socks really get me turned on because of this sock fetish of mine. *Rubs socks on body*”

Sex is sold on TV, in movies and in music as exhibitionism where beautiful people are prostrated for their looks and put out there for the world to view as voyeurs. The vicarious thrill of watching a scantily clad woman dance on stage at the Super Bowl in front of millions is an example, especially when a part of her dress falls off and oops! Boobies! The carrot on the stick can be applied easily when a company is selling something. Put a can of beer on a particular spot on the screen then immediately switch screens to show a hot babe in a bikini right where the beer was. I wonder just how effective that really is when a company appeals to the lowest form of human behavior and instinct? Sex is on the internet like never before and it just keeps growing because people love to masturbate. Porn is probably the second or third reason why people use the internet in the first place. Where I am from human trafficking became the highest crime on the rise, enough to make a city put billboards up on the highways asking people to call if they suspect it happening. The internet is used for many different things, and recently a site was just busted for peddling drugs, hitmen, and credit card numbers. Anyone can be the man on the internet because it is faceless and there is no accountability or responsibility when people post comments or talk trash to one another. Welcome to the 21st century of invisible villains and imaginary evil that will become a cancer to the human body and eventually bring more bad than good. But here I am using the internet to write my rants and opinions to you, hoping that it makes you at least aware of something you weren’t before. That is all I can do…for now.

Now on to my favorite subject: drugs and booze. Alcohol is a drug, so let’s just group it all under the four letter word that has become the greatest selling product around the world. From the low life drug dealer on the street trying to feed his family by selling drugs to his fellow brother and sister all the way up to the politicians and the big business bozo’s who make a pretty profit off the “War on Drugs”. Anything based on a fight with an inanimate objects is doomed to fail. It should be called War on Evil, because it is evil to make a profit off of someone else’s pain. But even as I write that I laugh at my own vanity and desire to change the world. What is the point? How can I do anything to change something that so many people want and something that nobody cares to stop? Well, my answer comes in the form of dead bodies of friends who I loved yet watched slowly commit suicide to the beat of heroin, cocaine, alcohol, meth, cough syrup, pills, even computer board cleaner and rubber cement, until one day they didn’t wake up. That is the point. These are the victims of the war on drugs. The police fight the gangs, and in the middle are people used as pawns to get what they want. Police want arrests and the gangs want money. So the police catch an addict using their drug of choice and use that drug as a carrot on the stick to do what they want, which is “snitch” out or inform on the dealer, and the addict suffers until they are killed or overdose or hopefully get help. But where is the help? Definitely not in the gangs who get rich off of selling drugs to mothers, fathers, and their children. Where is the help? How come addicts are still viewed as less than “normal” people. What is the stigma and where does it come from? The stigma has the power to kill an addict because it stops them from being honest about their problem. Some would rather die than admit they have a problem. Why? When it could save their life? Again, we were raised to be self-sufficient and independent. And when one cannot adjust to the world or succeed and keeps failing because they are different, sensitive, and need love…the world walks right over them, pushes them aside, and doesn’t care that these potential beautiful human beings are dying all around them. If you can’t help this problem, don’t make it worse by judging and hating those that use drugs to cope with this cold ass world of denial, lies, and isolation. The people are depressed because the world is all about making money, watching TV, using their smartphones, or driving around aimlessly in our cute little cars while the truth stares at them from a cardboard box.

 But you changed that all for me.
Lifted me up, turned me round.
So I…
I…
I…
I…
I would
I would
I would
Wish this all away

Prayed like a martyr dusk to dawn.
Begged like a hooker all night long.
Tempted the devil with my song.
And got what I wanted all along.

Until one day you wake up and feel like all those things I just mentioned don’t matter that much anymore. One day you wake up to find your loved one gone. One day you crash into a tree and almost die. One day you get fired and face homelessness. One day you see something so tragic it shakes you to the core of your human soul, what makes you who you really are, and you stop what you have been doing unconsciously for years and start thinking differently. Until enough pain heartache and suffering has been felt, most people don’t want the truth and don’t want to change. I know I didn’t want to see the truth that what I was taking into my body was killing myself as well as my family and loved ones. I know I didn’t want to change because taking drugs, drinking, and hustling to get these things was all I knew how to do. In the end I was a scared little boy who never learned the basics in life: communication, feeling emotions, and being honest and responsible for what I said and did to others. When I turned 13 I turned into a quiet, observant, angry, emotionally unstable liar who stuffed everything down into the dark of my sub-consciousness hoping I would never have to feel or experience or have to deal with it again. Problem is that whatever I stuffed down eventually came back up in the form of crime, acting out, rage, nightmares, and drug use to numb it all. But the drugs stopped working. I have done every drug there is and I have done them to the point where they stopped working. All I wanted was to find the solution to my problem. What was my problem? It wasn’t the drugs and alcohol, it was me and my selfish desire to do what I wanted to do regardless of how it affected others around me. The solution was not in drugs or alcohol, or even in AA or NA meetings, it was in the love. The kind of love that I never felt before. The love of a power that I never believed in nor cared about because Catholicism has a way of scaring off people. I call it God because it is a convenient name for something that has so many names.

 But I,
And I would,
If I could,
And I would
Wish it away,
Wish it away,
Wish it all away,
Wanna wish it all away,
No prize that could hold sway,
Or justify my giving away,
My center.

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So if I could I’d wish it all away.
If I thought tomorrow would take you away.
You’re my peace of mind, my home, my center.
I’m just trying to hold on,
One more day.

God is my peace of mind, my home, my center. When I faced the devil I held on to the love of God. God is love, so I held on to that and I held on to the truth that evil only exists in the belief that I give it, the power I give it in my thoughts. One more day. One more day turned into many days and today I am free. Free from the insanity that the world offers me when I walk out the door and walk down the street. I  am free to be me, and run towards what I want to be in life. My true place. I will look for you on the road to happy destiny. 143
Dim my eyes…
Dim my eyes…

Dim my eyes
If they should compromise
Our fulcrum
Wants and needs divide me then I might as well be gone.

Shine on forever.
Shine on benevolent sun.

Shine on upon the broken.
Shine until the two become one.

Shine on forever.
Shine on benevolent sun.

Shine on upon the severed.
Shine until the two become one.

Divided I’m withering away.

Divided I’m withering away.

Shine on upon the many, light our way
Benevolent sun.

Breathe in union.
Breathe in union.
Breathe in union.
Breathe in union.
Breathe in union.
So as one survive.
Another day and season.

Silence, legion, save your poison
Silence, legion, stay out of my way. 

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