Our Father

The Lord’s Prayer is the most important of all the Christian documents. Everyone who is seeking to follow along the Way that Jesus led, should pray the Lord’s Prayer intelligently every day. The Great Prayer is a compact formula for the development of the soul. It is designed with the utmost care for that specific purpose; so that those who use it regularly , with understanding, will experience a real change of soul. It is the change of soul that matters. The mere acquisition of knowledge received intellectually makes no change in the soul.

The first thing that we notice is that the prayer naturally falls into seven clauses. This is very characteristic of the Oriental tradition. Seven symbolizes individual completeness, the perfection of the individual soul, just as the number twelve in the same convention stands for corporate completeness. The seven clauses are put together in perfect order and sequence, and they contain everything that is necessary for the nourishment of the soul. The more on analyzes the Lord’s Prayer, the more wonderful its construction is seen to be.

After this manner therefore pray ye…(Matthew 6:9)

-Emmet Fox

If you went to church as a kid, then you have the Lord’s Prayer memorized and can recite it on demand. If you go to any 12 step group whether it be AA, NA, OA, SA, CA, Al-Anon or any of the thousands of “Anonymous” groups, then you recite the prayer at the end of the meeting while holding hands together in a circle. Not every meeting ends like this, some choose to recite the Serenity Prayer, usually because they think the Lord’s Prayer is too churchy and religious. That is too bad, but to each their own.

Since all the 12 step groups spawned from Alcoholics Anonymous, it is important to look at where this fellowship got its roots of spirituality and belief from. The literature for AA is called The Big Book, and it is a book based on Christian beliefs in one God and that God is mentioned many times along with prayers that sound really religious. A lot of people are turned off by this and turn away from the true message behind the words because it brings up resentment and uncomfortable feelings. This needs to be addressed since this book contains the simplest and most direct way to God that even priests agree with. Many people find their understanding of God through 12 step groups. They have the best approach, one that does not involve forcing one belief down your throat as the end all be all of religious truth. It is one that allows the person coming in the door to decide for themselves what kind of God they will choose to believe in, and the success of millions across the world of people who were once sick and suffering is proof that it works.

But where does it all come from?

Alcoholics Anonymous was started when Bill Wilson who lived in New York, a drunk, found another drunk,  Bob Smith, and they shared their stories of insanity and alcoholic tortue together. Both stayed relatively sober after that first meeting, and after finding other drunks to get sober, created the 12 steps of recovery. That is the history in a nutshell, so all you history experts stop right there and shut your dirty little whorish mouths. 10th step: Admit when I am wrong. Sorry about the rude comment, I didn’t mean it and was only trying to be witty, clever, and silly. Moving on…

This guy Bill, who engineered the 12 steps, attended lectures and followed the New Thought movement that was big back in the 1930’s. The movement was led by a little man from Ireland name Emmet Fox. His understanding of the Bible surpassed any of his time and in my belief any since it was written. Fox used to fill Carnegie Hall and lecture halls across the country, this little guy with a little voice, and people were captivated by his love and his understanding which he spoke so clearly about to the audience. Bill Wilson and the early Alcoholic Anonymous’ would not have made it without his help. Maybe they could have but Emmet Fox’s influence on the Big Book literature is unmistakable. The daily inventory, the prayer and meditation, the restitution, the self-analysis, the positive and constructive thinking that it promotes…all stems from principles that Emmet Fox talked about and wrote about.

In fact, up until a certain period Emmet Fox could be read about in pamphlets that were handed out at AA meetings across the U.S. But for some strange and very disappointing reason, General Service stopped supporting that and it faded away. The message contained in Fox’s words gave myself and my father a spiritual experience, and also helped people who I gave it to. Any message that has the power to change the way someone thinks, from one way that isn’t working to another that is better and works 10 times more effectively, is exactly what the Bible and the Big Book is supposed to be doing…but sadly it is not. The Big Book has become a prop for windows, a paper weight, and a place to hide money. If you look at the recovery rate across the country it is directly related to the decrease in understanding and usage of the Big Book, which contains a powerful message and practical daily designs for happy, peaceful, positive living. Why? How come?

The treatment machine is one reason. Why use something that is free and works when you can market something like expensive ass treatment facilities that don’t work and it will keep them coming back for help? The intention might be good but all that does is make a smooth ride to hell. Which is what is happening in these facilities as funding shuts down. If any of you have been in a holding facility in Massachusetts, you will know what I speak of. Same thing for detox and residential programs. Detox is the only necessary thing for a drug addict or alcoholic to go through because of the dangers that come from withdrawal from alcohol and benzodiazepine. Heroin, cocaine, and meth are all drugs that don’t kill you if you try to come off of them.

Watered down, that is one word I hear a lot throughout the 12 step communities, and what I have been hearing and seeing is true. People who are not in a position to help because they do not have the power nor understanding of the 12 steps (ie spiritual and sane) are sponsoring other people who are lost and need guidance. That person might get the help they needed, and then they MIGHT pass it on to someone else. The message is weak, the message is diluted with lies and lesser, easier ways that are short cuts. The reward for this is exactly that: short. The real reward is in going through the whole process of the 12 steps and having a life changing spiritual experience that transforms the person from thinking and acting one way into another that is beyond and more powerful. What is the point of the 12 steps if you don’t change?

An example of what is happening to what used to be almost 100 percent successful in helping sick people recover completely as if they were “cured” is the Lord’s Prayer. At the end of the meeting everyone stands up and awkwardly holds hands with one another to recite the Lord’s Prayer. Our Father…blah blah blah it goes on with no feeling, just a chant that people can’t wait for it to end so they can stop holding the hands of someone else. One of the most powerful prayers is being overlooked and misunderstood or not understood at all.

Just look at the first two words of the prayer: OUR FATHER. When the people in the circle say that, how many actually put feeling behind it and feel the love that exists in those two words? Do you feel the brotherhood? The bonding? The fellowship uniting as a family because OUR FATHER is a loving, caring, benevolent power like the sun that shines on all of us? No matter who you are or what you have done? Most people rattle through the prayer like parrots and don’t get anything from it. It is just a shame because of what they are missing. Don’t shy away from God or fear God because of your past. Don’t water it down and reword it so it sounds less religious. Get over it. Or die.

Embrace God as your father, and open up to the possibility that regardless of how the world was created, there is a power out there and inside of you that is all good, all powerful, all loving, all about helping you reach your true place in life.


The Imprisoned Splendor


Truth is within ourselves; it takes no rise

From outward things, whatever you may believe.

There is an inmost center in us all,

Where truth abides in fullness; and around,

Wall upon wall, the gross flesh hems it in,

This perfect, clear perception – which is truth.


A baffling and perverting carnal mesh

Binds it, and makes all error; and to know

Rather consists in opening out a way

Whence the imprisoned splendor may escape,

Than in effecting entry for a light

Supposed to be without.


—-Robert Browning


…ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free (John 8:32)


The more I clear away the wreckage of my past, the more I meditate on love, truth, and service to others, the more I listen to others’ pain and search for a solution to help them…

The more happy, content, and full of…nothing…I am. Nothing at all. No thoughts, no worries, anxiety, stress, fear, lies, anger, rage, resentment, judgment, guilt, shame, remorse…nothing…just moment after moment as life unfolds in front of my eyes and all around me.

To know this is to have gone through something that tested every part of the self, the old self, the one that only existed to take from other people that which it wanted, and without any regard for how it would affect others. Pain is a great teacher, motivator, and changer. Without pain why would anyone want to change what they are doing? Pain exists for the sole reason of changing human behavior to be more in tune with what is good, right, positive in life: health, love, prosperity, safety. Without pain life would not be what it is, and would be nothing but out of control chaos.

What is THE truth? The one and absolute truth? What is that bible verse saying when it says: “the truth”. Each and everyone of us, deep down inside at the “inmost center”, is our own individual truth. No matter what you believe in, even if you believe in worshipping the devil just as Christians worship Christ…it doesn’t matter. The truth will make it’s way to the light one way or another despite the human mind’s petty pathetic attempt to understand that which something so small and immature CANNOT completely understand.

The truth inside of me is slowly coming out, and as it does I embrace it. I accept whatever will be will be. I understand that I may not ever fully comprehend what this truth is and the meaning of this life and why I am still here. All I can do is pray, asking for guidance and the power to reach others who need help, and not shrink when the opportunity arises. I am still working on amends to the people I have hurt, and I am still doing a daily inventory making sure I stay spiritually sound and fit. With so much trouble in the world, it is my duty as a human being to be ready when the call for a higher purpose arises.

And if you think I am being too religious or too cuckoo about spirituality…

I will politely ask you to take a trip into the darkness with no money and no shelter, with only the clothes on your back, and come out the other side still alive, sane, and willing to deal with this cold and cruel world. Only then can you talk about what is religious, spiritual, and true.

And So It Goes…143

The Law of Growth

What you think upon grows. This is an Eastern maxim, and it sums up neatly the greatest and most fundamental of all the laws of mind.

What you think upon grows. Whatever you allow to occupy your mind you magnify in your own life. Whether the subject of your thought be good or bad, the law works and the condition grows. Any subject that you keep out of your mind tends to diminish in your life, because what you do not use atrophies.

The more you think about your grievances or the injustices that you have suffered, the more such trials will you continue to receive; the more you think of the good fortune you have had, the more good fortune will come to you. This is the basic, fundamental, all-inclusive law of mind, and actually all psychological and metaphysical teaching is the little more than commentary on this.

What you think upon grows.

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. (Philippians 4:8)

The mind is a powerful tool that can be used for extraordinary things like building and creating the world around us. In the mind are these little things called thoughts. Ever since the dawn of man and the first recorded history that was written down NOBODY UNDERSTANDS THOUGHT. Sure, we know thoughts come out of a certain part of the brain and that they are chemical based and travel across the brain like electricity. But despite all our advances in technology and science we still do not know exactly where thought comes from. The mind makes up our consciousness. When we wake up, instantly our world is noisy with thoughts that fill up our mind with what we have to do today, where we have to go, and everything in between. Random thoughts go in and out a hundred times a day. In fact, the average person thinks about 12,000 thoughts a day. Deep thinkers double that number. The point is that since the mind makes up who we are as a conscious self-aware human being, it would behoove us to pay more attention to the thoughts that we think upon.

What we think upon grows.

I have come across some interesting findings in my research of life and the meaning of it all. The meaning is in the mind and the key to a happy, successful life is in controlling our thoughts that manifest out of the mind and into our physical world. Look at the news, TV, media, Facebook, Twitter…what are the thoughts that people are dwelling on? Is it positive or negative? If an alien were to land on Earth today and turn on CNN, Fox News, or any of the mainstream media channels…what would that little green fucker think? THIS WORLD HAS GONE MAD!

Mad with negative, evil, corroding, fearful, dishonest thoughts that have taken hostage the Collective Mind of the human race, and until we change that everything we do shall be in vain and not change a damn thing. Just look at all the non-profits that give water, food, and clothing to a poverty stricken country…it’s like throwing rocks into the ocean hoping it will create a dam.

So how do we change this out of control mind? We stop and look at it, and we become aware of what we ourselves think upon…what thoughts we dwell on. If you think upon anger and hatred and hurting others, these thoughts will grow and expand out into your life in the form of fights, abuse, and jail. If you think upon love, helping others, and positivity even though things are not looking so good…these thoughts will grow and expand out into your world. They come in the form of friends, strangers who come into your life to help, and situations that never would have happened had you not thought of these things.

Think wisely.

The Triumph of Love

But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven…(Matthew 5:44-45)

Right reaction is the supreme art of life, and Jesus compressed the secret of that art into a sentence when he said: Resist not evil. A correct understanding of this commandment will regenerate your body, liberate your soul, and remake your life.

Love is God and is therefore absolutely all-powerful. Meeting hatred with Love is the perfect method of self-defense in all circumstances. It renders you absolutely invulnerable to any kind of attack.

If you receive bad news, if you are unhappy in your work, or in your home, feel out mentally for the Presence of Divine Spirit, all around you; affirm its actuality, and claim that God has dominion over all conditions, and you will soon be free.

And this commandment have we from him, that he who loveth God love his brother also (John 4:21)

How many times I wished I could have gone back in time and changed how I reacted to something or someone that upset me. Sitting in a jail cell is a perfect place to do this. You have all the time in the world to pick apart the past and try to piece it back together in a way that doesn’t hurt so much. But then the puzzle shatters against the truth, because once you react and say or do something it is done, and there is no turning back. When I got angry, I would lash out and say something mean. It felt so good, an instant high, when I reacted like that. Over time however, I learned that it was not only hurting the other person, it was hurting me as well. Anger is poison for the body, and studies have proven this to be a fact. Being angry at someone is like taking poison into my body. No matter how righteous it is, no matter how much I am right, the anger I feel is hurting me too. If I want to get even and get back at someone for saying or doing something that hurt me…why would I get angry and hurt myself even more?

Growing up is hard. We adults got through it but have no idea how to explain it to children who are in the middle of it? In school it is like gladiator training with bullies in the halls and at recess, teachers that sometimes join in or who ignore it, and classes that have no meaning whatsoever other than to fill up the blocks of time until the bell rings. Growing up is painful, scary, and lonely. So why is the school system making it worse? We should be getting more involved with what goes on inside the elementary and high school walls, because look at what is happening on the news! As a society we are failing our kids. They need love, and they need it now more than ever.

When I was growing up I reacted with anger to everything and it was like nobody knew another way, or a solution to help me. As I got older the drugs and the booze amplified that anger and I turned it all inward as a way to express it, and it was through self-destruction. Instead of punching myself in the face or throwing myself into things, I decided to be classy and commit crimes. I would do the most stupid thing and get caught almost intentionally, fess up to the cops in the interrogation room, then serve my sentence in jail! When I came to in jail I would sit on that steel bunk and think: how the hell did I end up here again? It took a few years of this to finally realize that is was the anger I had inside that started it. It was the catalyst that was sparked by thoughts of getting even, getting revenge, hatred of a certain race or ethnicity, resentment over a childhood event, anything negative basically. Once the spark was ignited it was an unconscious chain reaction that manifested in breaking and entering, vandalism, and theft. There was no thought to the consequences because the way I felt trumped any rational thought like: “hey, this isn’t such a good idea buddy. You are gonna go to jail, you know you are gonna get caught, this is at least a year in jail, what are your parents gonna do? They are gonna kill you!” Nope, nothing. I only thought of the reward which was adrenaline, money, and more drugs and booze. It was like Mr. Hyde came out and the animal inside could only understand primal instincts, and that is how I acted. I had no solution.

It wasn’t until I had enough of the pain and suffering that I began to change. I had no idea I was changing, but the pain and suffering was doing that for me. I couldn’t stop the heart wrenching gut ripping guilt shame and remorse while I sat in jail again. I could barely breathe or swallow. All I remember is praying to God asking Him to take it away and if he did I would do whatever he wanted. Looking back I can see that I meant it. Ever since that moment when the pain receded and I felt okay, not just okay but good enough to get through a very hard time in my life, I “got the love”. This love led me in a complete 180 from where I was headed, which was an early grave, and guided me to someone who taught me about love and how to overcome anger. He showed me specific ways in which to deal with other people who upset me. He taught me how to pray, meditate, and live a life of principles in tune with the infinite.

This didn’t mean I was done out there ripping and running into oblivion, no, but this was a beginning. Once it begins it never stops growing and expanding inside the heart soul and mind until it is able to manifest on the outside. As within, so without. I went back to jail, I went back to detoxes and sober houses and holdings. But this time I was armed with something more powerful than any drug or drink or gun or tough guy…Love. Capital Love. I walked through scary moments with my heart pumping love out into the most sick and disgusting displays of human behavior, the grimiest of places, and I pushed out with my invisible hands of love as much positivity as I could. I was able to be the person I had always wanted to be: smiling, happy, content, and at peace with everyone. It took a lot of pain and bad things to happen to get to that point, but it was all worth it.

Now I go out and try to help others to get to that point.

Love life to the death, and keep planting my seed.

I’ll give all I got left, just to teach you to read.

Love life to the death, and keep reaching the seeds.

Because he that loveth God loves his brother and sister also, or else he doesn’t love God and doesn’t deserve to be called family until he or she does.

The Law of Practice

Practice makes perfect. This familiar proverb embodies one of the great laws of human nature and-being a law-it is never under any circumstances broken. There is simply no achievement without practice and the more practice, provided it is done intelligently, the greater will the proficiency be and the sooner will it be attained. It is true in every conceivable branch of human endeavor. Practice is the price of proficiency.

In metaphysics the efforts of this law are particularly striking. Thought control is entirely a matter of intelligent practice. And true religion may well be summed up as the Practice of the Presence of God.

…Be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only…(James 1:22)

Thank you Emmet Fox, for these words of wisdom that come from the heart. I Practice the Presence of God on a daily basis and it helps me exist in this crazy world as it spins out of control. I wake up, I pray, and I thank God for everything He has done for me as well as express gratitude for still being alive. Some days I am just happy to be able to walk out in the sunlight and close my eyes and smile, and feel the warmth on my skin. Not too long ago this was a dream. I start with thanksgiving and I continue on to praying for the health and happiness of the whole world. Family, friends, all are included in this prayer. I ask that I be given all that I need today to do His will, and to be able to carry it out effectively. I prayed and this website happened. Now I have a channel which to broadcast my love and my service to others.

This is the true religion: love and service to others. My religion is kindness. My church is the world. When I walk outside today I will worship God in TRUTH and in SPIRIT by giving LOVE to everyone I meet. No matter who you are. 143

Stay tuned…

More Will Be Revealed

My name is Anna M., and I am an addict.
I suppose in my “other” life, the one outside recovery, such a declaration would cause a few heads to turn, maybe even seem inappropriate. But my identity as an addict is just as much a part of me as my name.
I used straight for a better part of a decade. I’m not ashamed anymore, and I feel a sense of pride that I am an addict, who works very hard for my recovery each day of my life.
The first drug I picked up was alcohol. I was 18 and thought everything was going according to “the plan”. I was a senior in high school, but had already been accepted to the college I wanted to go to, majoring in Social Work.
I was a good student, played sports, worked on the weekends and during the off-season of basketball, and I just decided to drink at a party just before graduation.
I didn’t know that I was opening a door I could not shut on my own that night, but I remember the feeling I got from putting the substance in. I felt funny, good enough, “a part of”. I went away to school that fall, and my alcohol abuse got worse.
I used to be proud that I could drink men under the table, do keg stands, and finish a bottle all on my own when my friends wouldn’t be able to.

I started kind of realizing that the obsession to drink was palpable, and if I couldn’t find someone to buy me booze that night, my whole night was ruined. I started abusing drugs through a guy I was dating. The alcohol never left my side until the day I got clean, but drugs became my new obsession. Benzo’s, speed pills, cocaine became a daily thing.
The more I grew to love speed, I started smoking it as well as snorting it. I failed out of school and moved home. When I came home, I worked with a man who got Crystal Meth from California, and I tried it with him one night. I fell in love with it, but it was a love/hate relationship from the get go.
I became violent, sometimes suicidal, and sleep deprived. When I was coming to the end of a run, I would wind up sleeping for 2 maybe 3 days straight. Around this time, my dad got sick. I was too busy getting high to visit him in the hospital, and when he finally came home, he had scripts of opiates. I started stealing them, and before long, I was a raging speed-ball addict and an alcoholic.
I started hitting all the “yets” I thought I’d never do.
I became involved in the court system at 23. I had to attend a court-ordered rehab and go to counseling, but I didn’t really want to get clean, so nothing stuck. I started going to detox after detox to get my family and employer off my back. I think to some degree, I wanted to get clean, but I wasn’t willing to admit that I couldn’t drink or smoke weed anymore. I thought I was too young and would be missing out on parties. I didn’t realize it at the time, but the party had been over for a long time.

Something changed one day.
I had overdosed and landed in the hospital, and for the first time I can remember, I was crying because I knew I’d get out and use, and I didn’t want to anymore. I did just that. I was miserable and wanted to die. A month after my overdose, I got my tax return back and spent $1,100 in 3 days. I was on a suicide mission. But, at the end of that run, I checked back into detox yet again, and this time, it was different. I surrendered fully to recovery.
This was March 18th, 2012. Since then, I haven’t found it necessary to use any mind or mood altering substances. I agreed to further treatment, and stayed for 6 months.
I was still in the court system there, and my PO came to check on me, but always seemed so happy I was finally doing the right thing. I didn’t get clean to beat a case, nor was I stipulated to the facility I stayed in. I did it for me. But in the end, my hard work has paid off. Recovery hasn’t been easy, it’s hard work.
God willing, I will have 18 months clean next month.

I since have been taken off probation, getting a probation violation case completely thrown out because I was doing the right thing. I also am in the process of getting my license back, which I lost directly due to my using. But through regular meeting attendance, getting a sponsor, and sponsoring other women, I can push the thought of using out of my head, just for today.

The beautiful thing that I know now is that any addict can lose the desire to use and get clean, if they follow the program as it is laid out. I have lost friends in recovery, and I pray for them and keep going. I’m not sure what my future holds, but I know that as long as I follow this way, more will be revealed.

Compassion: The Latest Fashion

Maybe another person could have lived through the same experiences and weathered the storm with fewer scars to show for it, and maybe not.

Whatever the reason, sometimes a person is so angry and so defensive, they can’t fathom the motivation for kindness or compassion. Your attempts to reassure, to be caring and loving might be met with contempt. Because what you’re asking when you open your arms and move toward a person who’s backed into a corner, is for their trust.

And for some people, the thought of that is terrifying. That’s a language they don’t understand. Everything is perceived as an attack, and instead of love, they work with control and manipulation. Basically, some people are too hurt or too scared to love. It doesn’t mean there’s no hope, it just means they have a lot of healing to do, and they either will or they won’t get to it.



Whether I am in the grocery store, the mall, Walmart, or a restaurant, I notice many things that affect my heart and I don’t know why. I guess I am just observant, maybe overly so, but nevertheless I look at the faces of people and I catch their eyes for just a moment then lose them. But I feel their pain,  I feel their sadness, I feel whatever they are going through. Up until now I felt crazy because of this and held it in thinking that if I said this I would be labeled weird or be judged for it. When I hold things in I die, pure and simple, and I am lucky to be alive today because yesterday was scary the way I used to think and act. I do not know where this comes from or why I am so sensitive to other people’s energy. All I do know is that I have been through hell and made it out to the other side burned but unbroken. Maybe that is it, the reason why I have so much compassion and empathize to the point of assimilating in my mind other people’s problems and pain.

You walked with me
Footprints in the sand
And helped me understand
Where I’m going

You walked with me
When I was all alone
With so much unknown
Along the way

Who knows, everyone says God only knows yet the people who say that do not understand THEIR God so I don’t trust it. My God, which is really just my understanding of that Power (capital P), is LOVE and TRUTH. These are the principles of God that mean the most to me. When I am living and practicing both principles in my life, I am well and my family and friends are well. If they are not, I am able to be there for them in a way that I couldn’t without LOVE and TRUTH.

Then I heard you say

Look around you. Watch the news and see the tragedies and war and famine and depression and planetary suicide that is happening all around us…

What do you feel when you see that? What crosses your mind in thought?

 I promise you
I’m always there
When your heart is filled with sorrow and despair
I’ll carry you
When you need a friend
You’ll find my footprints in the sand

Everyone is either going into a storm, are in a storm, or are coming out of one only to go into another one down the road. A great friend and spiritual mentor Michael C. of Sandwich, Cape Cod used to say: “Everyone is fighting a great battle. How can we be anything BUT compassionate?” This is a quote taken from a Buddhist but no one really has a patent on words anyways. The knowledge we have has been used already before us, just passed down and said differently. Be compassionate…be loving…be kind…and if you cannot be any of these then be silent. Hold in your pain until you are ready to break down and crash…God will be there waiting for you with trust and faith that EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY.
I see my life
Flash across the sky
So many times have I been so afraid

And just when I
I thought I’d lost my way
You gave me strength to carry on

When I interact with this world, I have to keep in mind the truth that not everyone is on the spiritual path and not everyone is happy, peaceful, and content with life as I am trying to be on a daily basis. I have to realize that some are angry, very angry, with something that happened to them. To them I secretly send love through thought which is a causative force, I think of what love is and I send it to them as if it was a telepathic telegram into their black hearts, or scarred brains, and hug them mentally. I imagine love entering their life in the future, maybe in the form of a friend, a lover, a puppy, SOMETHING to interrupt the evil and the fear that has taken over their life and created HELL ON EARTH.

That’s when I heard you say

I promise you
I’m always there
When your heart is filled with sorrow and despair
And I’ll carry you
When you need a friend

Thy Kingdom come, thy will be done IN EARTH AS IT IS IN HEAVEN and HELL!

I grew up Catholic, and that means I grew up afraid of God and afraid of the truth. I remember being so scared as pictured the flames, the red walls, the evil demons tearing me in half over and over (I had a vivid imagination as a child) Even that did not stop me from committing crime and doing evil deeds. Fear used to control others behavior is the lowest form of insanity and cruelty. When I ran from the Catholic cult I ran into the devil’s arms. He gave me a warm hug and welcomed me to paradise. All I had to do was be selfish, lie, seek out only things for my self regardless of how it affected others like my family, and use fear against others as much as possible. The pain I caused is…

You’ll find my footprints in the sand
When I’m weary
Well I know you’ll be there
And I can feel you
When you say

I promise you
Oh, I’m always there
When your heart is filled with sadness and despair
I’ll carry you
When you need a friend
You’ll find my footprints in the sand

Years and years of running scared nearly killed me. I am one grateful grapefruit to still be alive and somewhat healthy after slowly killing myself for so long. I watched such good people, good souls, wither away into nothing and fade away into darkness. That eternal darkness of death that rips a person from your life I will forever respect and stay FAR away from as long as I pray and do God’s will.

You’ll find my footprints in the sand
When I’m weary
Well I know you’ll be there
And I can feel you
When you say

God…what is God? Who is God? We use He or She or It to describe God because the English dictionary is limiting and that is the best it can do with words. Regardless of what we call God, the point is not in trying to define God or figured out who created the world or why God this or that…the point is to manifest the purest principles that are connected with God and bringing them to the world around us, Earth, our home. Why are we living like roommates, sharing a house together but not talking and not even acknowledging one another as we pass by? It is because so many people are in too much pain to even look up and trust that the person walking by won’t hurt them anymore than they have already been hurt. I think of all the kids who barely make it out of their childhood, abused mentally and physically to the point of medication and psych wards, and society judges them or doesn’t even care to recognize them…and we wonder why the world is so crazy. I recognize them, and I am there for them. Are you with me?

You’ll find my footprints in the sand
When I’m weary
Well I know you’ll be there
And I can feel you
When you say

I promise you
Oh, I’m always there
When your heart is filled with sadness and despair
I’ll carry you
When you need a friend
You’ll find my footprints in the sand

-Leona Lewis


Filling my head with thoughts from the past
Living each day as if it was my last
Nothing more to live for
Everything is gone
Cursing that terrible day that I was ever born
Dreams turn to nightmares and hope fades away
Death is the debt that I surely must pay
Those I leave behind must remember one thing
Each passing moment was too much suffering
My place in this world was not meant to be
A constant battle between pain and misery
Words cannot express the torment within
Putting an end to this existence so others can begin
Wanting so much for my life to have been bigger
Placing the gun to my head and pulling it’s deadly trigger.


By Paul S.


prison bars

The saying is

“Do your time,

Don’t let it do you.”

But imagine

Five years for something

You didn’t do

That’s the hell

I’m going through

You don’t want to believe

What I say is true

Regardless, I’m not sad or blue

I ask myself: “What can I do?”

Stay positive and better myself

I’ll make it through.

Jason B.

Taken from The Voice Inside