The Blue Crayon

It has been so long…

Since I was free from this madness. Have I lost myself? What is the truth? My eyes are burning in tears thinking of all the years spent running from the truth out of fear that the truth is…

I am hopeless.

The truth is I can’t cope with this out of focus situation my head is racing I am choking.

How do I get free from this insanity?

From a young age I learned how to live a double life. The one my family and friends see is only half of the story. A smile, laughter, and all the the good facades, I show only what I want them to see.

It is a form of control. 

By lying to you I can control what you know. I do it to manipulate your actions to helping me get what I want. 

Sex.

Money.

Drugs.

And here I am, writing on some crumpled loose leaf with a blue crayon in a psychward. 

Welcome.

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